This blog is dedicated to the memory of David Weintraub, who took on insidious astroturfers and won.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

A Tale of Two Dicks - Revisited

[editor's note - My purpose for re-posting this now classic dairy of the political science genre is two-fold. (1) The irrepressible desire to knock Socrates latest semi-mailed-in meta masterpiece off the top off the front page in the eternal tug of war between friends and fellow herstoric trolls of the whiteysphere.

(2) Humbly showcase once again the pure internet meme prescience for which donkeytale readers have long come to expect. This dairy was originally posted August 17, 2011.

Enjoie me while you can still have me, loosers]



Rick Perry, the latest under performing Governor of the Republic of Texas (Texas being a weak governance state by design, of course) to toss his all hat no cattle into the national ring of dishonour, is without a doubt the best thing to happen to Presidit Obama since the latter received the coveted Oprah endorsement back in 2008.As I (and Bruce Bartlett in Fiscal Times) have argued persuasively, the 2012 POTUS dance is shaping up much like the eventful, fateful 1972 election, the main difference being that the prevailing political ideologies of the times are reversed.

The Tea Party is the most extreme movement to have gained traction within The Uniparty since the 1968-1972 Demotards had a radical antiwar/civil rights movement within its ranks, who backed an outsider candidate, McGovern, to topple party boss favourite Muskie (the Romney of his time) on the way to getting trounced by an unpopular incumbent, the Obama of his time, the hated on all sides but the center Nixon.---Tale, in a Pffugee Camp comment thread responding to Fairleft's suggestion that Obama is Hoover reincarnated

It hardly matters which Republikaaner candidate ultimately succeeds to win the nomination. All of them are being skewed hard right during this thoroughly entertaining nomination process. It's just that Perry currently has the most shine on his male baboon's butt to attract the largest share of Republikaaner knuckle draggers in the primaries.

Romney, now on record as rejecting any tax increases ever, in any amount in order to restore fiscal sanity and balance the budget is in for some interesting times as he tries to hold the court for the Chamber of Commerce wing of the GOP against the lunatic fringe majority plurality organised minourity which will decide the nomination, regardless of the desires of the political establishment.

This places him in a similar position to another northeastern moderate, Ed Muskie, the man who was the consensus party boss favourite for the Demotard nomination in 1972, but whose campaign never struck a chord with anyone who actually, y'now, voted. Muskie was completely overwhelmed by the anti-establishment liberalism of the times and was sent quickly packing to a retirement community in Palookaville via a well-oiled, coordinated minourity liberal faction that found its winning candidate in McGovern.

Now, Perry may not make the nomination. In fact, Ron Paul (my personal favourite for McGovern status) or Michelle Bachmann probably both fit into my thesis more comfortably, since McGovern was an almost unknown and lightly regarded Senator from a state about which a large majority of Amerikaaners  have never entertained a thought, much less set foot in.

On the scale of longshots, Paul and Bachmann are more McGovernesque than the dick Perry, who is after all, the longterm do-nothing Gubernator of the second most populous state in the Disunion. But the point is, the tea parties have succeeded in packing the race with sympatico ideologues and Romney will have to dance like a marionette (admittedly, a Romney strong suit) if he wishes to survive to the championship round, and in so doing will necessarily have been pulled so far right as to be unelectable in the general election.

In 1972, another epic Republikaaner Dick, the ill-fated Mr. Nixon, was the sitting duck, hugely unpopular in general, and even somewhat among his own party mates, for betraying conservative principles by consistently suggesting and signing legislation that had a decidedly liberal bent.

Today, many know-nothings even buy the false, planted internet meme that Nixon was a liberal. Nope. Nixon was a right of center, conservative pragmatist, who presided over one of the most, if not the most, liberal Congresses in US history. Big, big difference there, which has been almost entirely lost in the fake history that is  today spewed across the Googlesphere, in this, the age of the info boob tubes.

Barack Obama is also a pragmatist, slightly left of center, presiding over one of, if not the most, conservative Congresses in US history, who has repeatedly angered his liberal base by suggesting and signing legislation that has a decidedly conservative bent.

Both men were eminently beatable at this stage of their respective re-election campaigns. Nixon was a polarising, viscerally hated figure among the New Left, just as Obama inspires insane rage among tea partiers today.

Yet, when faced with a choice between McGovern and Nixon.....well, you all remember the result. 1972 represents the beginning of the end of four decades of liberal political hegemony in the US. It has been all downhill for pwoggie political power ever since.

In 2012, we are once again in crisis after three decades of conservative political hegemony.

Will herstory repeat beginning in 2012, albeit in inverted ideological fashion? Will we witness the richly (pun intended) deserved beginning of the self-destruction of conservatism through the nomination of a lunatic fringe backed freak?

Or will the rightwing circle remain unbroken in 2012, finally completing the neo-Nazification of Amerikkka that began with Nixon?


donkeytale said...

Ok, there is also a third reason:

I know that Socrates is essentially a-political and he hates getting bogged down in fourth rate political analysis with whiteyspheric hacks such as moi...

donkeytale said...

Also, spent a wonderful day with granddaughter, daughter and son in law yesterday.

Wow, this real life stuff can actually sometimes be gratifying in a weirdly normal sort of way.

And as a rotten parent whose kidz actually seem to be shockingly rather emotionally healthy although still somewhat outside the mainstream, there probably is a future for me in the grandpa game.

I'm a natural. "Here, have another lollipop and let me teach you how these new words to practice on mummy and daddy when they ask you to take a bath or lay down for your nap:

'Fuck off'"

thegoodsareodd said...

As the Blog Executive Assistant In Charge of Smoking Cigarettes, I insist that this entry be scrubbed. According to the non-existent rules and regulations of this blog that only socrates is aware of, you have neglected to use the words "spy factory" in the beginning, middle, and end of the post.

I'll be frog-marched to the woodshed for that one and stripped of my blog job title.

You are a natural at the grandpa game. They'll learn all about progress in a few years when the game advances to "Here's 50 bucks, go play in the street".

A more on-topic note: My cell phone autocorrects "mofo" to "Nixon." Yup, I'd say this phone is a keeper.

socrates said...

I liked this entry then and now. It was a great idea to repost it.

It sounds like you are healing from your blogging addiction. Real life is real compared to blogging. Hopefully now that your grandkids are getting older, they're no longer hitting you in the noggin with frying pans.

Yes I read your stuff, dude. That's a reference to a funny you made somewhere in one of your million other entries.

It's not that I don't like all political chatter. This one hit the spot without rubbing it out because it was humanistic with a big picture angle.

It's the ones that have a blah blah wonker wanker slant that have me putting the comp on sleep in exchange for a bubble bath.

On a somewhat related yet off-topic tangent, I got this numbnut named Brooks Bayne to get naked as a Holocaust denier. Ron suggested I write up a blog post on it. But I'm not sure of that. This seems like a decent entry to leave hanging for a bit and see if we can generate some mutually satisfying, delightful content through comments our dear reader lurkers have come to expect from DFQ2.

Then omg Aaron Walker and astroturfer Ladd Ehlinger stole that schtick. I don't mind a bit of schtick theft, but I am not eager to see more of it from the Breitbart cult.

Oh, so here's an idea I want to bounce off you. Is it possible even likely that some Demtard political astroturfers are roleplaying as the other side in order to make their own look better?

I mean, that's the essence of concern trolling. Maybe Brooks Bayne truly does believe as low as 108,000 Jews were killed in the Holocaust. Then again, maybe he is paid to make Republicans look retarded.

This goes full circle to your prescient, entertaining recycle job. Obama has been a disappointment as was Tricky Dick back in '72. However, back then the country wasn't ready for a cool dude like McGovern. In fact, only Massachusetts gave him electoral votes. It didn't help that George's vp had some mental health issues. /digress

The Republicans, wow, it's as if they didn't even want to put up a fight this year. It's not simply that Mittens was the original basis for the Richie Rich comic strip (source: Wikipedia). The dude's a Mormon. While most probably don't realise that's a hideous cult, a lot of right wing Bible Belters who usually fall out of bed voting Republican are disgusted by LDS Moronism.

Not only that, Mitt's a Northerner. If Dukakis couldn't hold onto a big lead against GHW, most certainly Mitt's not gonna make a comeback against the O'bomber.

Methinketh his 47 percent thingie was akin to giving up a grand slam in the 8th inning when already down 10-2. It's ovah. Even Wayback Wasdin couldn't cough up this lead in relief.

I'm done. I'm done.

socrates said...

Goods, I had a 10,000 word response for your insubordination.

On second thought I deleted it.

In its place is this mailed-in musical response.

donkeytale said...

I see that you are now mailing in the images too. To date,you've posted one excellent pic of Manson and the rest have all been throw-away retreads from your photoshop collection.

Dude, Michael J. Fox has nothing to do with this story in any way shape or form.

He's not even my go-to guy for Parkinsons Disease now that we have Liberal Grouch firmly ensconsed in that role, who I might add is even more effectively doing wheelchair wheelies on Stranahanie's head while all you are doing is making fun of his unfortunate disabilities.

Do I now have to add photoshopping to my skillsets?

Here is what I might suggest as alternatives for this story: a picture of two penises. A picture of Dick Burton and Liz Taylor (preferably made-up for their Cleopatra roles), or if you want to go literal: side by sides of Perry and Nixon.

Or Richie Rich and Mitt Romney.

As for Brooks Bayne and whomever else you're twittering about, this is a dead story. The narrative thread no longer matters to anybody.

Its lost in the ether.

You need to find some new schtick, Cleopatra.

just sayin

socrates said...

You're a funny guy, Sal. That's why I'm going to kill you last.

$10 in DFQ2 currency for the first person to identify that movie quote. [disclaimer: There's no such thing as DFQ2 currency.] It's just a fun game I thought we might try. Guess the movie in so many words. Like Name That Tune but for movies.

I hope your panties don't get bunched up, but you're about to be bumped off the top slot. It's more Meta. This is not over. It's over when I say it's over. I don't need no stinking badges. Steeelllllllllllaaaaaaaaaa.

socrates said...

Just because you are unaware of something or think it's boring doesn't mean it isn't important and stimulating for others. Grow up! Hmmph!

socrates said...

I can't hold back. I gotta say something. Wow just wow. There I said it.

donkeytale said...

Dude, just grow some game back into your schtick or retire, OK?

You're done. You're done

socrates said...

Thanks for the ad hominem.

socrates said...

Good Morning, Uncle Douchetard!

You must be the last blogger to not know how to take and post screenshots.

I also noticed a little change at youtube has your panties in a bunch, and you no longer know how to post videos.

You're made for Texas. Hello to all the other retards.

Y'all have a nice day now, son.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

donkeytale said...



donkeytale said...

My real problem with you is that I have received no props for being the last commenter evah on Pffugeecamp.

And did I take that place out in a blaze of trollish gory?

Oomf! Pow! Smersh!


As for your newest co-authored almost a masterpiece with Starsky, hope you remembered to gas up the Charger, Hutch.

You guys need to get outta town with that weak schtick.

The tag team of Grouch and Stranaham win this round on points.

Sorry. Gotta calls em as I sees em, boys

With Love and Affection Always,

The Rooster Talent

donkeytale said...

As for my photoshopping skills, I'm going with the side by side Richie Rich and Richie Allen.

I loves me some Dick Allen. 1964 rookie of the year for the beloved yet ill-fated Philadelphia Phillies. I adopted number 6 after that year because that was the number for Phillies right fielder Johnny Callison. I wore 6 from that point on in my yute baseball career, and if six was already taken I opted for nine.

Today I opt for 69 on route 666.

donkeytale said...

haha, it just hit me.

"Dick" Allen.


"Richard Anthony Allen (born March 8, 1942) is a former Major League Baseball player and R&B singer. He played first and third base and outfield in Major League Baseball and ranked among his sport's top offensive producers of the 1960s and early 1970s. Most notably playing for the Philadelphia Phillies and Chicago White Sox, he led the American League in home runs twice, and led both leagues in slugging average (the AL twice) and on base percentage. His .534 career slugging average ranks among the highest in an era marked by low averages. He won the 1964 National League Rookie of the Year and 1972 AL MVP. He also spoke his mind, combatted racism, and bucked organizational hierarchy. Sabermetrician Bill James rated Dick Allen as the second-most controversial player in baseball history, behind Rogers Hornsby.[1]"

donkeytale said...

Rogers Hornsby?

Linky thingie to Le Dick Alain.

One of the all time grates.

Bet on it.

donkeytale said...

socrates said...

You, myself, and Ron should start an internet newspaper. We'll call it The Supertroll Gazette.

socrates said...

You talk out of your ass. You make sweeping statements, are shown to be a contrarian sophist, then eventually admit you were wong.

Anonymous said...

I will admit when I'm wrong, which seldom happens because I seldom am. But a sophist?

You need to back up that typically boring standard blogger's cliche with an example.

Some other self-inflated moron calles me a "stalinist" this week too, so I know I'm on target.

The dullwitted academics of their time called Spengler a sophist too until they were forced to admit he was wright. Now, Spengler is a revered for his prescient masterpiece and no one remembers.

And of course there is this thing called where the historical recordAn which indicates that I was correct about Patterico and BRYNAERT all along while you were forced to admit you were wrong.

I misremembered one fact, ONE! About Worthing in my much praised highly regarded Troll Wars series and you keep reporting that one thing I got wrong to condemn the entire series which was write on target about the events and participants all the while you flipped and flopped and changed your mind before coming to the briLliant conclusion: they all suck, except Brynaert, this after insisting for years that Brynaert sucked and the others didn't.

Yet I'm the sophist?

Yeah and yur the Softest.

Anonymous said...

As for talking out my ass and making sweeping statements about this latest tempest in a twitter pot, it was a joke actually, a fake controversy polemicist schtick in response to your attempt to sustain this manufactured controversy.

Mainly my comment was a love siren to the aforementioned Brynaert to induce him to come in here and go BOOM! Drop a comment bomb or two, to enhance the turgidity of these somber proceedings in troll nirvana.

I'm always willing to take the bullet in order to juice the zeitgeist. I'm selfless that way, sorta like a blog Jesus, if I may humbly say.


socrates said...

That's some nice misinformation you just dumped on DFQ2 carpeting.


"you flipped and flopped and changed your mind before coming to the briLliant conclusion: they all suck, except Brynaert, this after insisting for years that Brynaert sucked and the others didn't."

I had good reasons to be upset with Ron, but for you to use the word years is ridiculous.

And I never stuck up for the other side in regards to Breitbart being a good guy. It was strictly an enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Ron did good by me today exposing @AnonyOps was in cahoots with @Ali Akbar to smear me through Breitbart UnMasked. It had to do with stolen identity and sock puppets.

Your problem is you turn this all into a game, that you're too lazy to learn any of the nooks and crannies of. It's similar to your 2012 inability to still be able to take screenshots and post images. Google made a little change at Youtube, and now you are inept inept for embedding videos! RIOTOUS!

You were the one who said the story was dead, and that was before the Aaron Worthing and Patterico dumps in May!

You're the one who flip-flopped from my being on top of the zeitgeist to being yesterday's news, that Mike Stack had repossessed my destiny. How'd that one statement turn out for you?

You may have missed it, but I have become the unofficial official spokesman for Anonymous since Barrett Brown's recent difficulties with FBI. Oh wait, you don't know much about anything. Instead of admitting you don't, you attack those who do. You oughta feel ashamed.

socrates said...

Make sure to check out Ron's twitter feed today. He kicked ass!

donkeytale said...

Check your email.Dude, youer lies mean nothing to anyone, especially me. You still don't have your own story straight,'']]

and thats just sad.

I just gave you an exclusive because your schtick srsly needs emergency treatment.

Photoshop that idiot

Nothing else you have posted in months matters.

"Years" was just a trap to expose your hack nothingness, trying to make hay out of rag weed.

I'll say it again:

yur game has no schtuck.

For "months"

socrates said...

Donkeytale is the same dude who claims he isn't a sadist.

socrates said...

It isn't funny anymore. A bit of ribbing here and there is ok. But I'm not your punching bag, whenever you get the urge to be sadistic.

socrates said...

I recently got someone who might be a Tea Party founder to admit to Holocaust denial. But I get no credit for that only ridicule.