This blog is dedicated to the memory of David Weintraub, who took on insidious astroturfers and won.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Son of Glennzilla and the Hamster

After the udder failure of the Third Party "Movement" in 2012, for like the umpteenth time in US herstory, clearly, it is time yet again to trot out another shiny new political narrative. Since third parties have been no-hitted and shut-out in every single presidential election there ever was, it is high time for something different. But, if the history of the blogosphere is any guide, the political narrative will not change one iota, and of course, will be vigorously marketed once again anyway. 

The business of the US of A-holes is business, even on the pwog-bound internets, and the ruling jedi of the Townhall cabal are not only proven innovators but they are job creators, too. And sometimes innovators fail. But then they get themselves back up, wipe the splooge of bull hooey off their feces and jump their shopworn sharks right back into the race. 

(Sung to a chorus of "That's Life" as performed by former CIA-asset codenamed Lil Frankie)

As everbohdee no, the current recession is severely impacting pwoggie bloggie donation streams (FDL just cut and/or laid off and/or retired their one man "journalism" editorial staff AKA cut n paste David Dayen) while infantile leftist bloggers have sustained several crushing blows to the collective skull during the past 2 years. 

First, the Arab Spring confounded and pulled their foreign policy tricycle wheels completely off, followed by the unlikely re-election with ease of a bought/paid for Kenyan Muslim socialist fascist evil child murderer drone meister, which occurred (much like the Black Satan's initial election) without a hint of support from the infantile left who nevertheless still claim to be his uber disappointed base.

(h/t Little Matty Stooler. Did mommy and daddy buy Santa bring you a new Trike for Christmas, Little Matty?)

But in the grand tradition of American libertarian business people, two famous internet entrepreneurs and occasional business partners, Glenn Greenwald and Jane Hamscher are sure to find new and exciting ways to resurrect their flailing punditry careers. 

As the new year fiscal cliff approaches, there is mounting evidence of yet another covert, concerted effort underway to marry the libertarian right with the Fake Left into an effective business model for internet entrepreneurs to cash in.

[Bonus holiday season conspiracy theory/jumping the shark alert]


When will the "switch" part of the fake left "bait and..." blossom into a useful reality? Probably never, if the 2012 election results are any indication.

Check this out. There is now appearing at MyFDL a poster named "donbacon". He isn't being very transparent in identifying himself but the Firebagging insiders like CTuttle know exactly where Bacon is coming from, therefore so must Hamster and her little spinning cage wheels who moderate the site's dwindling traffic. 

Any way you slice it, Bacon's a definitive pork product, obfuscating his ideological stripes by making innocuous thread patter in order to ingratiate himself without revealing his true nature to the shilled.

I definitely smell Cato/Koch Bros influence here. Makes an awful lot of sense when you think about it, knowing what we all know about Hamster's herstorical ties to the right wing. 

Cough. Grover Norquist. Cough. 

Why, I mean, by golly, if the Paultards coalesce with the Pwogtards, viola, they become an instantly impressive 1.6% of the electorate!

Add four more years of solid refuse disposable blogging mixed with the rabidity of Glennzilla's anti-Democratic Party perseveration (now available on the Guardian!LOL) and all the indications are that this newly formed political juggernaut might hang onto .35 of one percent or even slightly less in 2016!

Yay! Go team whiteysphere. Yur not getting older, yur getting grayer too. And yur progressive nads may be fraying but yur libertarian libido is still raging. 

[projection alert]

[pinocchio alert]

We can keep on blogging and retain our lily whiteness at the same time. That's something John Boehner and Grover Norquist might term a 'win/win'. 

The doomed loosers of the whiteysphere now have a political narrative that's almost new and nearly unique upon which to further devolve and disassociate themselves from reality: a fifth consecutive failed Third Party Presidential election strategy beckons.

This, dear readers, is some impressive "stick-to-it-iveness."

Some may call blogging an addiction, for which 12 step programs are now proliferating widely (ironically, treatment is even available online!), but I term this keyboard warrioring an irrepressible tendency to die in self-delusional self-defeatist selfishness.

[projection alert]

And if the Greens combine with the Libertarians, progressives will finally become that third party threat they have falsely heralded every four years since 2000, or 1992 if they are willing to now admit an affinity for H. Ross Perot back in the day. 

Bet on it. Third place is theirs for the taking.

And that could be worth at least some semi-serious right-wing PAC schwag, sorta like Operation Accountability, only hopefully bigger. Last time they teamed up, Glennzilla and the Hamster raked in more than a quarter mil, of which hardly any went anywhere resembling political donations (the ostensible purpose of a PAC) except into their own bank accounts for "consulting fees" and "expenses." 

Maybe a half million or more could be a reasonable goal this time if they decide to re-team, enough to tide both over through the midterms at least. 

Surely, by then this diversionary tactic could at least buy time to come up with some new schtick to replace the currently frazzled anti-Obamaism, which fortunately will by necessity need to give way to anti-Hillarity by early 2014, in any event.

Beautiful. I could see Glennzilla and Hamster once again laughing all the way to the bank on the backs of their delusional followers. 

Y'know, banks, those evil corporations run by banksters, but still where the fake left stash their PAC schwag at the end of the day when all is said and not done.


Anonymous said...

Some age-appropriate musical accompanimentr, now featuring wah-wah pedal!

socrates said...

I socratised Don Bacon. He had some success as a minor league baseball player and coach.

Son Kevin Bacon was drafted by St. Louis. I am not sure if he ever saw the big time. He also may or may not have been in movies.

Grandson Alex Bacon is playing some college baseball.

Alex was born in Wisconsin. Donkeytale says he's from there too. Hmmm.


Anonymous said...

This Don Bacon is surprise! an ex-military man.

Ctuttle, the erstwhile foreign affairs expert at FDL is ex-military man.

Or maybe current.

He also has an affinity for Col Lang, with whom I'm sure you are familiar.

socrates said...

Speaking of ex-military, this popped into me noggin. The best episode of All in the Family was when Archie's friend Pinky Peterson visited for Christmas.

Meanwhile, the Meathead had a draft dodger pinko commie over too. Bunker of course went with his apeshit blah blah not in my patriotic house schtick.

Pinky shut that down pronto proper. Which was ironic since he had recently lost his own son in 'Nam.

The episode was called "The Draft Dodger" and might have been based on a Donald K. Taile of Chiquita Banana Falls, Wisconsin.


socrates said...

I reread your new piece and must say it is an instant classic. Bravisimo.

They don't just attack myself and others because of BK. They do so because we the supertrolls are in a historic grouping not seen before or since.

We might be aged Pierce and KG against their timeless Chamberlin/Russell, speaking of the Hollands, Weintraubs, and a few others. But I digress.

The point: They've been exposed and don't like it.

Hey over at the Crying Wolfe Blog a new comment makes it appear Rauhauser is about to get his nuts squeezed by the FBI. I don't doubt it. We shall see.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I thot so too. But then I felt my last was also. Come to think of it, My masterpiece-to-mailed-in-entry ratio is rather Ruthian.

And my ulteriour motive is actually to get your head back into socratisation for you are the Cy Young of the genre.

Your career win totals will never be broken.

socrates said...

Thanks, but most of that was on people in wackadoo territory. I don't expect a call from The New Yorker for my services. I can't stand those stupid cartoons they chuck in every issue anyway.

Remember Doug who exposed one of those mind control conferences? That's what I'm talking about.

I thought we got a huge spike in the ratings. Alas, a false alarm. It was some supermaggoted spam phish focker.

socrates said...

Wow, no comment on my photo-shop? That took 15 minutes to put together. Alas, I ran out of space to throw in Eddie Munster. He would have represented the son of zilla schtick. By the way, methinks you might have the stolen Zillathon or something schtick with your title.

Anonymous said...

I guess you are trying to become the Ed Wood of photoshopping "so nad it's good" Schtick.

Well, you haven't quite got there yet.

Plus, the predictability factor is immense.

Some Eddie Munster might help, although one could make an argument that Greenvault is Eddie Munster.

Or Eddie Money.

Nat Silver hits the same "its the geography, stupid" point I have been making for several months now.

Pwoggie ghettoes do not equal political clout.

"Why this asymmetry? It’s partly because Republicans created boundaries efficiently in redistricting and partly because the most Democratic districts in the country, like those in urban portions of New York or Chicago, are even more Democratic than the reddest districts of the country are Republican, meaning there are fewer Democratic voters remaining to distribute to swing districts."

The bluer is bluer than the redder is red.

However the red is receding mainly because of more brown,

Time is the enemy of the tea party right but also the fake left.

Infantile is a useful word. As people age they tend to become big babies.

Some of the posts at FDL are becomeing so childishly incoherent as to be more infotaining than ever before.

socrates said...

Nothing on the internet can be counted on. It used to be good for a laugh before going full-blown with stupids.

First there was Patrick "Patterico" Frey generating false gravitas through a law certificate.

Now there's some asshat named Jay Leiderman. It never stops. He's the Frey of the left. He says I have been added to his Naffe lawsuit against Fatterico. You wouldn't believe what he tweeted.

All I wanted to get was a statement on his close relationship to Neal Rauhauser. He responded with libel and sadism.

He's next on the socratisation docket.

I cannot believe how many people there are who are full of shit.

socrates said...

Yeah that's called gerrymandering or something. But don't tell Brad Friedman. He's on a mission from God to get the political mobster who stole both 2000 and 2004 through black box voting and also allegedly had Michael Connell knocked off ... to get Rove incarcerated. Anyone who points out Brad and Co. are con artists is actually some psychotic stalker with 24 usernames. That's the ticket.

Leiderman's 100% a pussy. There's a video of him at Youtube. He's a whiny, fat shit and not very bright. He used to be a public pretender for over six years before deciding to go private. He'll defend any sleazebag.

Leiderman's God is fame and money. He's a poser with not much for skills.

And it looks like he's out 35 grand for Commander X somebody escaping from bail obligations.

Maybe I will get to sue some people after all. Or probably not. But if douchebags want to continue to mess with me, there will eventually be a payback. Unlike these fake Anonymous Neal Rauhauser and Jay Leiderman, I do not forgive/forget, and I do get even or better. Bet on it.

Anonymous said...

For third party progressives everything's become too obscure and too complex to understand, much less confront.

But keep donating and keep blogging, that will make it all a chewable baby aspirin

Not to pick on anyone but this is the type of gibberish to which the infantile left has been reduced:

"Barack Obama turned race into a Salvador Dali painting. Nothing is what it used to be, and it’s very difficult to describe; consequently it can’t be pinpointed and, anything you say about it can very easily be misinterpreted. Such is race today in America. As a progressive, I think it’s best left alone, and this is after jumping in those turbulent waters a few times myself."

Essentially correct. When your worldview has been totally confounded and proven to be the fantastical equivalent of living in a funhouse (thanks Jane and Glenn for helping construct that)its little wonder that incoherence becomes the response.

The above from a popular FDL diary preposterously entitled "On Progressive Unity."

Thick fog of the .35 of one percent, indeed.

Anonymous said...

This one is RIOTOUS! as well, not the least because there is both a Ludwig sighting and a soc-donk autopilotII reference in the threads.

Ok. I'm done. I'm done

socrates said...

My people are asking for updates on Don Bacon. Is there an over/under line for when that account gets tagged as spam?

socrates said...

I must say if one looks at my tweets versus Jay Leiderman's, he got his ass whooped. The socratisation was easy. He is the poor man's Triple F Jordan.

... Developing

Anonymous said...

"Brig. Gen. Donald J. Bacon is the Director of Intelligence, Surveillance and Reconnaissance Strategy, Plans, Doctrine and Force Development at the AF/A2, Headquarters Air Force, Pentagon.

General Bacon entered the Air Force in 1985 through Officer Training School at Lackland Air Force Base, Texas. He served in numerous operational and staff assignments at base level, numbered Air Force and Headquarters U.S. Air Force. His assignments include command of the 55th Wing, Offutt AFB, Nebraska and the 435th Air Base Wing, Ramstein Air Base, Germany; Chief of Special Operations and Intelligence Information, Multi-National Force, Iraq; Commander, 55th Electronic Combat Group at Davis-Monthan AFB, Ariz.; and Executive Officer to the Chief of Warfighting Integration and Chief Information Officer, Secretary of the Air Force, Washington, D.C"

Tngrveard 3249

socrates said...

Now I'm confused. I thought you were Don Bacon going back to FDL undercover troll style.

Anonymous said...

That was an eye for an eye. schtick for a schtick.

See yur comment # 2 above for dtales.

Actually, the Porker to which I am referring is also a militry man, but like CTuttle he got religion. They both come from the paleocon, Pat Buchanon school of isolationism, which methinks is approximately the foreign policy half of the fake leftist schtick.

Not that there is anything wrong with tthat, just sayin, firebags. Be upfront,self-identify and stop the leftist charade. Recognise and admit that you are coming from the rightwing and embrace your peace fascist racism

Not you. Them.

Greenvault is clear about it to some degree, he is a libertarian money grubbing Paultard.

That Antiwar dude is also a winger.

Hamster hides it more than any of them.

Bacon is Pres of the Smedley Butler fan club. Pretty interesting read.

OT, but I found this below actually a really really very interesting, though rather longish read.

Also saw Tarantino's latest, which was a crashing disappointment especially because it started out rather excellently for about half the film before descending into cliche-dom of bloodbathed superhero schtick.

Still, taking on slavery at all in any sort of realist fashion instead of the Gone with the wind schtick is an excellent play, if eventually botched.

Its like he started really strongly with a great story line and a chance to develop into a buddy movie picaresque but didnt develop it, veered off into diCaprioville and lost interest or didnt know where to go with the story.

I think QT needs a writing partner.

I still have him down only for 1 and 1/2 great movies:

Reservoir Dogs and the "Gold Watch" Bruce Willis segment of Pulp Fiction.

I guess you can the first 1/2 of Django Unchained and call it two great movies. 1 + 1/2 + 1/2.

The rest of Pulp Fiction was OK to pretty good and jackie Brown was OK.

I havent seen the rest of his ouevre but I was interested in his depiction of the brutality of slavery which I found very powerful until he turned Django into Superfly at the end.

Anonymous said...

No, no, don bacon is a real dude. I linked before and here to his lew rockwall posts.

I'm not a hyper zombie, holmes.

ErI mean, 'Kendrick Perkins'

I've now done it twice. Once in the Booman thingie you never let me live downand now dogbroth. It wont be habit forming.

I suppose technically donkeytale was also a zombie at Booman's, and Joseph KKK but they knew with whom they were dealing in those cases, so I guess that's a known known.

Anonymous said...

BTW, fake cineaste alert, but I believe the Gold Watch was co-written by someone else or at least based on a story by someone else.

Both that one and Res Dogs were fully formed dramatic vehicles. Not half baked like most of Tarantino's schtick. Either he runs of time/money or simply can't finish.

socrates said...

I was just wondering. God bless Don Bacon and the American people.